


fall back home

by ellathebanditobitch



Category: Trench - Twenty One Pilots (Album), Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Banditos - Freeform, Escape, F/F, F/M, Genderbend, Implied/Referenced Torture, Mild Blood, Past Torture, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, dema, trench
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-11
Updated: 2020-04-08
Packaged: 2020-06-26 12:17:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 7,663
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19768036
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ellathebanditobitch/pseuds/ellathebanditobitch
Summary: they had a solid plan, leave in the night and return to their family out in trench.it's when tyler mysteriously decides to take nico's offer of becoming his apprentice is when the plan starts to fall apart.





	1. where do we go from here

it distracted him. the light wouldn’t stop flickering. he tried to close his eyes but the light leaked through his eyelids, burning into his irises. 

“keep focusing, tyler.”

he was. he was trying so hard but the light was flickering no matter how hard he closed his eyes. 

“tyler…” nico’s voice was becoming more irritated. 

his head was spinning. 

~~_ don’t let the neon take you away, tyler _ ~~

his head started to feel heavy. he tried to keep it straight up, but the weight was too much.

he fell back hard, hitting his head on the cold concrete floor. 

“nico, it’s time to give him a rest,” keons pipped up from the back of the room. 

tyler phased in and out of consciousness, feeling the tingling sensation creep from his fingertips all the way to this elbows. he could feel nico hovering over his frail body. 

“i suppose so. bring him to the infirmary to recover. assign jenna to him. she knows his needs.”

keons called in the watchers in to pick up the brunette, his eyes barely open. the boys iris’s shifted between his normal oak brown and blood red. the black started eating up his finger slowly, swirling around his knuckles. 

they laid him down on a twin sized bed in a singular room, closing the door behind them, leaving tyler in the dim light. he laid there for a while, not hearing the door creek open later. 

“oh, tyler,” a faint voice sighed from the other side of the room. the blonde crossed the room, holding a bowl of water and a rag and placing it on the bedside table. she leaned down and placed a small peck on tyler’s forehead. jenna reached back to the rag and dipped it in the cold water. she ran it out over the bowl and folded it in her lap, dampening her pants in the process. she lightly laid it over his pale forehead, as it was part of the routine of getting him back to himself. 

a faint sigh came from tyler’s lips as his eyes fluttered open. his eyes slowly looked around the familiar room, eventually landing on the blondes ocean eyes. 

“there you are,” she chirped as a small smile crossed her lips, “did nico push you too far again?”

“no”  _ lies _

“but blurry...”

“it’s fine, jen.”  ~~_ no it’s not take her hand and ru _ ~~

“i’m worried tyler.”

no response came, leaving the two in a comfortable silence. the dinner bell sounded, signaling it was time for jenna to go. she picked up the bowl and started to the heavy wooden door.

“ava will bring you dinner, just stay here and rest,” she hesitated to say the last thing on her mind. “and tyler?” 

tyler perked up from his spot on the bed. 

“east is up.”

“what?” he sat up straight, unfamiliar to the sentence. he wanted to ask her what she meant but jenna was long gone. 

the service started at 7:10, giving jenna 10 minutes to go back to her apartment, grab josh, and get back to the worship hall. easy enough, right? 

she strolled along the pavement, the sound of her heavy boots beating against the streets. a flame flickered in the corner of her eye, causing her to whip her head to the side in hopes of seeing one of them, but saw nothing. she sighed. 

6 months. 

6 long months of being in dema, not being able to feel the wind in her hair, run around freely, or have tyler to herself.

she hiked up the metal stairs, reaching the second floor to see another life form. it was rare to see someone back at their apartment this close to service. the girl had long, curly brown hair cascading in front of her face, blocking it from view. she hunched over trying to unlock the neighboring room to jennas. _ funny how they moved someone in so quick after ash escaped.  _

It wasn’t until the girl noticed jenna when she realized no one new had in fact moved in.

she stared at her dumbfounded, astonished by her presence. it was when the girl looked at her, bags under her eyes and pale skin staring into her own eyes, she realized what had happened. 

“hi… im ashlynn.” she mumbled at jenna, finally getting the key into the lock. 

“i know.”

“what?”

“i mean um- im jenna.”

“oh, nice to meet you. um… see you at worship.”

“yeah… “ she scanned the girl up and down, “you too.”

jenna bolted into her apartment, slamming the door shut and sliding down against the door. she leaned her head into her hands, moaning in frustration. tears brimmed at her eyes.

she couldn’t believe it. they  _ cleansed _ her. she really got her delusional ass caught and got  _ cleansed _ . she should have stopped her. she should have stopped her from leaving. she was so stupid why didn’t she stop-

“jenna, i left my bag in there, can i come in?” she felt a pounding against the door she was leaned against and one of her best friends voice. 

“yeah… come in josh.” she said, pushing herself up from the floor. 

the curly haired man opened the door and swiftly walked in, but he froze upon seeing jenna’s puffy eyes. 

“jen… what happened?” he stepped cautiously toward the blonde girl. 

“ash… she’s back. she never left actually. they- they cleansed her.” 

“oh…” he looked down at his feet. he couldn’t believe it. ash was one of the strongest people he knew. just one stare from her atlantic blue eyes could break a person, and even almost break a bishop. she proved anyone who fought with her wrong without apology and stood her ground. she got what she wanted, yet here she was, back in dema with only her name and job left in her brain. 

“and tyler’s back in the ward. nico pushed him too hard today.” jenna sat on her bed, arms resting on her knees. “i asked him about blurry. he said it was fine but i don’t believe him for a second. nico’s trying to get blurry back and it’s not okay! god why did he agree to be his apprentice?”

“i don’t know jen… he’s stubborn like that.”

“i thought we had him! i thought we had him on our side! we were about to leave and then he had to go and do this shit.”

“jen, listen, i know this is a minor setback, but were gonna get him out of here.”

“it’s a major set back josh. i’m just… i’m scared.” she glanced at the clock. 7:06. shit, he had to get going. 

“listen, we need to get going but, it’s gonna be okay. i promise. we’re gonna make it back home.” josh lifted himself up off the chair and reached out to help the blonde up. she took the offer and pulled him into a hug. 

“i know.”


	2. sitting here pretty for a mad man

the nine bishops filed into the room, progressing down the aisle. jenna watched, her eyes darting from scarlet figure to scarlet figure. josh fidgeted next to her, his eyes fixed to his shoe laces. behind the progression of bishops followed a short figure, wearing a red cloak covered in sheer black material. the figures head hung low as they scurried behind the last bishop in the progression, keons. josh had never seen the cloaked person before, and judging by the questioning look jenna was giving him she hadn’t either. 

“welcome citizens.” nico spoke from the front of the cathedral. “today, service will be a little bit different. this evening we will be accepting clarisse into the religious family, so when the time comes, she will be able to take on religious responsibilities.” he gestured to the figure who had now pulled of her hood. she revealed herself to have chest length raven colored, curly hair. her irises were the color of the stone that built dema. she had soft pale skin that cold be mistaken for the neon they worshipped. her lips were plump and soft, resting under a long button nose. 

the girl stepped up to the podium where nico was. 

“I am clarisse charleston, I live in the custody of bishop keons. he has raised me in a religious upbringing with plans to give me the religious responsibilities when I am ready. today is the first step towards that. i ask for your acceptance and… respect.” 

clarisse stepped away from the platform, cloak swaying with her body. she whipped around to stand next to keons. 

jenna leaned into josh eagerly,” we need to talk about this. my place after service.”

  
  


his hands twitched. the iv pumped fluid into his veins. he wanted to rip them out. they were tying him down. he couldn't, he had to stay. he had to stay until he was better. until he was strong again. 

he heard nico’s voice echoing faintly from the cathedral. it buzzed inside his head. he focused hard, trying to shut it out. he should try to sleep, maybe that will help block it out. he closed his eyes, not sure if it was seconds or hours before sleep took him. 

_ he was sitting in front of a familiar fire. he was surrounded by familiar faces. they sounded happy. the smell of burning wood coiled into his nose. he felt and arm rap around him and a head on his shoulder. blonde hair spilled onto his chest. a voice to his left called his name. he turned to see who the voice belonged to. the man had curly hair tucked under a hat. two rings pierced through his nose on either side, and black buttons filled his ear lobes. his smile was kind, able to make someone feel better instantly. his eyes scrunched up when he smiled. it filled tyler with warmth. and that’s when it happened. he felt the cold creep around his neck. his smile faltered. he knew what was happening but he was still petrified. it was with that he was yanked back, his throat start to close up. he felt the rough ground drag against his palms as he gripped at it. there was no hope. his world started to close in, his vision getting darker by the moment.  _

tyler jolted awake. his breath was heavy and frantic, and panicked. it wasn’t nearly a dream as it was a memory. an old one, one that was almost… forgotten. how could he forget? how could he forget the people closest to him?

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> not the longest but fun


	3. once we were free

josh strolled to work, the early morning mist pooling at his ankles. it had been 12 hours since service, 3 of those hours which he had actually spent asleep. sleep had been tangled in his brain since he woke up in the early hours of the morning. insomnia still kept him up though, no matter how much he craved sleep. 

he unlocked the store front door, stepping into the small cafe (if you could even call it that) he served his morning hours serving breakfast to the residents of dema. the room was bland and the meal options were limited, leaving the restricted feeling of the city alive and well. 

josh made his way behind the counter, pulling out dishes to set food out on display. he layed scones out on a plate, setting the arrangement in the glass case. he turned on the brewers that rested on the back counter, hearing them hum to life one by one. it was 7:45am, meaning they opened in 15 minutes. josh sat behind the counter, awaiting the early morning rush of boring people with boring lives.  _ boring lives.  _ he says that like his wasn’t boring also. I mean, it used to not be boring. it used to be amazing. he used to have everything. he could watch the sunrise over the valley. he could walk among the people he loved so much and go to sleep knowing he could protect them. now he was here. he didn’t even know who was left out there. now he sat here sitting in what could maybe pass as a run down cafe, waiting for people he could care less about to come in and pass him by. maybe people he did once care about, even does still care about, would come in. not that they would remember him though, they had all been cleansed except for one, jenna. 

speak of the devil, the blonde haired girl entered through the front door, faintly smiling at the sight of josh. 

“hey jen, you’re in early.” josh grabbed a scone and started to bag it for her, knowing it was her favorite. 

“couldn’t sleep. thought I would come get breakfast.” she pulled a chair out from the breakfast bar and slid into the seat. she fidgeted with the sleeves of her grey knitted sweater. josh handed her the scone in a beige paper bag, moving from behind the counter to sit beside her. 

“so… clarisse.” he turned to her as she bit into the scone, crumbs falling into her lap. “who is she?” 

“I don’t know. I saw her once or twice around the hospital but I just thought she was another nurse.”

“how come we haven’t known about her till now? and what does she mean live in the custody of keons?”

“she lives with him i guess. like an adoptive daughter.” jenna crumpled up the bag in her hands, shooting it into the trash can. “it’s weird. the bishops having someone take on religious responsibilities, especially as young as she looked, it just seems off.”

“I don’t know.” josh got up to head back behind the counter as another citizen entered the cafe. she had long, curly brown hair. her deep blue eyes darted back and forth.  _ ash.  _

she spotted jenna, smiling a little bit. 

“hey,” she said softly,”you’re my neighbor, jenna, right?”

“um, yeah. hey ash.” jenna stared at the girl. she wore a grey long sleeve with grey sweatpants. her shoes were black, reaching up to her ankle and tying. 

“hey josh, nice to see you again.” she said walking up to the counter. 

“wait, what?” he said, turning his head to look her in the eyes. she looked at him like she had spoken something so obvious. 

“I said nice to see you again.”

“what do you mean again, you just, you haven’t seen me since you got cleansed.”

“what?” ash blinked profusely. 

“yeah!” he said a little louder than he wanted, “you didn’t remember jenna!”

“i’ve never met her, how could I remember her.”

“because you remember me.”

ash stared blankly at him. she blinked furiously. “...then… h- how do I know you but not her?” she exhaled frustratingly, pulling her hands down over her face. 

“maybe nico isn’t as good at cleansing as he was. after all, he took tyler in as an apprentice, maybe he’s training him to help him with cleansing. maybe that’s why ash remembers you. she’s known you longer.” jenna looked at the two. 

“tyler? is he okay?” ash looked back and forth between them. she placed her hands on the counter, leaving in concern. 

“you remember tyler?” 

“yeah… we’re friends.” she studied jenna’s face as she said that. her deep sea eyes seemed to hide so much in them as they darted around. they often darted around, like she was trying to find something that was just it of reach. she opened her mouth just to close again, not sure quite what to say. 

“and you’re his wife, jenna. how could i forget?” ash took a few steps closer to her, looking the women over. 

jenna broke her gaze with ash to glance over at the clock. 8:25. 

“shit! i have to get to work. i’m so sorry. um… ill- i’ll be back after my shift, i’m so sorry!”

jenna stood up off the stool and made her way to the door, pushing through it. she rushed down the road in the direction of the hospital, her boots clicked against the stone as she raced to the big, grey cold building. the blonde reached the worker entrance, swiping her card and watching the light turn green. she opened the door and turned into the door on the right, the nurses lounge. twisting the lock of her locker, she opened it and grabbed her nurses badge. she slammed it shut, causing a ringing noise throughout the room. she made her way out of the lounge and on her way to tylers room by 8:32, making her way past the few doctors that stood in the halls. she passed the sign that read  _ special patients unit: religious nurse clearance only.  _ she made her way through the low lighting, finally reaching her husbands room. she inhaled slowly. everything had been moving so slowly for 6 months and they finally had a chance to build up what they had started. she smiled.  _ we have a chance. _

she knocked on the door. 

“come in.”

she opened the door to see the bedside lamp lit casting a warm glow on the room. it was almost like the sun out in trench.  _ almost.  _ next to the lamp was a sleepy tyler laying in bed. he smiled at the sight of jenna, slowly sitting up and adjusting himself. 

“hey ty!” she smiled as she walked over to embrace him. he wrapped his arms around her tightly, smiling into her shoulder. she sat next to him on the bed, intertwining her fingers with his. 

“you’re looking better this morning.” 

“i feel better! i actually got some sleep, drank some water, ate some food this morning.”

“that’s so good, babe!” she planted a kiss on his cheek. he turned to look at her with a smile. he leaned in and planted his lips on hers, feeling her warmth against him. he smiled into her mouth, missing the feeling of her soft lips. she moved her hand up to cup his cheek, feeling his slightly grown stubble. she parted to catch her breath, resting her forehead against his. 

“i’ve missed you, ty.” she wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him again.

“i’ve missed you too.” he laid down with her back on the bed and cuddled against her side, “any life updates?”

“ash is back.”

“i thought she escaped!”

“that’s what we thought to! she got cleansed, but i don’t think nico did a very good job because she remembers me, you and josh.”

tyler sighed.

“nico wants me to start helping cleanse people.” his smile faded.

“i figured.”

“i don’t want to. like at all. i just wanna return to the apartment and go back to life before. i don’t even know why i accepted the apprenticeship, i guess, i don’t know. i don’t even remember. and it bugs me. i know i was cleansed.”

“i know you know. and it sucks believe me but… we’re gonna fix this. and once you’re better you’re gonna come back and live in the apartment and everything will get better.”

“yeah… i hope so.”

tyler hugged his wife tighter, burying his face in her side. she stroked his hair, letting him fall asleep next to her. he snored softly, causing her to smile at the sound. 

jenna didn’t know how long it had been when she heard the knock on her door. 

“come in!” she yelled from the bed. 

the door opened slowly, and in stepped a girl in a dark grey dress. the dress was floor length, swaying with her. the sleeves stopped a little past her elbows and were trimmed with lace. her raven hair was tied up in a messy bun, and she wore circle frame glasses that covered her misty grey eyes. 

“hi, um, am i interrupting?” she stood there awkwardly. 

“no, you’re not. what do you need?” jenna untangled herself from her sleeping husband. she stood up to face the familiar looking girl. _ was she the girl from the service yesterday? _

“i’m clarisse. i’m running some errands for keons today. he told me that he needed me to ask tyler some questions. would you mind waking him up?” she gestured to the sleeping brunette. 

_ it was her. _

“no, i can wake him up.” jenna walked over to the man who was curled up on his side. she softly shook him. his eyes slowly fluttered open, a smile grazing across his lips at the sight of his wife. 

“hey babe, i’m so sorry to wake you up. keon sent someone to ask you some questions. do you mind answering them?” she motioned back to where clarisse stood, her hand clasped over her stomach in a professional manor. 

“no, not at all that’s fine.” tyler sat up and took notice of the girl standing behind jenna. he adjusted himself on the bed, smoothing the pale white covers over his legs. 

“hi tyler, im clarisse. do you mind if i sit?” she gestured to the foot of the bed. tyler nodded. she sat down and straightened her skirt. jenna took a seat in the corner of the room on a dull grey chair. she leaned forward, elbows on her knees, leaning forward in interest. 

“okay tyler, let’s get started. do you know what the phrase ‘east is up’ means?”

jenna’s eyes widened.  _ shit.  _

“no,” he replied, glancing at his wife. she prayed to god that he wouldn’t expose her. he hesitated for a second, eyes wondering from jenna back to clarisse. “i’ve never heard of it.”

jenna quietly exhaled, slouching down into her chair.

“okay.” clarisse continued. “have you ever been in contact with the banditos?”

“not that i remember. you never know. nico cleansed me a few months back.” tyler fidgeted with his blanket. 

“nico cleansed you?”

“yeah.”

“and you remember.”

“uh yeah… vividly.”

clarisse’s eyes widened. she licked her lips, blinking. her stormy eyes met tylers. 

“i… i’m so sorry. i understand. i remember too.”

tyler and jenna looked at her confused. 

“but you have religious status? why were you cleansed?” jenna questioned. 

“i… that’s classified technically. but actually? i tried to escape. i did escape. 4 years ago.”

“you escaped?” tyler asked, wonder in his eyes. a slight smile tugged at his mouth. “what’s it like out there?!”

“it’s… beautiful. even better than you would ever imagine.” clarisse smiled at the memory, remembering the cliffs. she remembered watching the sunrise every morning with her friends, debby and paige. everyday she would go out and look for supplies they could use to survive, and everyday she got a little more relaxed in her own skin. she never should have though, she knew the bishops would find her, and they did. nico dragged her by the neck, leaving her gasping for air until she fell into blackness. she woke up in a cold room with a neon glow. she remembered the pain she felt when it touched her. 

“it is.” jenna looked down, also smiling at the memory of the sunrise. 

“jenna?” tyler looked at her, staring into her ocean eyes.

“yeah, i’ve been out there.” she admitted. 

tyler started to piece it together in his head. “jen… is that why i was cleansed? because we escaped?”

jenna gazed down at her feet. she slowly nodded. 

“yeah, we escaped.”

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hehehe


	4. is this home?

“memories pop up but i’m not sure if they’re real,” tyler’s lip quivered as he played with the hem of his blanket. “I guess they make sense now,” his eyes met jenna’s. 

“tyler, i’m sorry.”

“you don’t have to be. I understand why you didn’t tell me. we’re in dangerous territory. i’m either always in a hospital bed or around nico. it’s just… I don’t understand.” .

“I do,” clarisse said timidly, ”I think I do, at least. since nico’s cleansing has been weakening in the past few months, memories are still there for you.”

tyler nodded, processing everything. 

“josh was there. in my memories. was he with us? outside of dema?” 

“yeah, so was ash and a few others we know.”

“can we go see josh?”

“you don’t get discharged until next week, dear. I can see if they will come over later today though, okay?”

“okay,” tyler mumbled.

….

ash made her way through the city, toward her building a few blocks from the cafe. josh strolled beside her in silence while she angrily stomped on the stone due to josh telling her everything that had happened over the past few weeks. 

2 weeks ago she had mentioned to everyone she was thinking about leaving again. everyone warned her not to, but she was so distraught without the banditos, especially the one that she was apparently in love with, she had to go. everyone tried to tell her it would be safer to wait until tyler was done with his apprenticeship in the next few weeks so that everyone could escape together in the group. she said she didn’t care, and left that night. she had almost made it out when nico caught her and dragged her back to the city. she had been held in captivity for two weeks and been cleansed before being released to the public

“she didn’t even come back for me! six fucking months and i was still in love with her enough to leave? how good could she have been for me to be that in love to leave, josh!?”

“i don’t know, ash. all i know is how dangerous it is to get in and out of dema and how much planning it takes. i really think she tried ash, but when she took my place as leader when we left, it made it even harder. i know it’s hard to not remember her, believe me. soon though… we will leave.”

she sighed, closing her eyes. she held her arms out to josh. he walked up to her, moving his arms to wrap around her shoulders. she cried into his warm chest over the loss of her old life. not just her old life, but everyone’s old life. 

“ash, it’s gonna be okay. would it make you feel better to go see tyler and jenna?”

she nodded.

“yeah? okay, let's head over to the hospital.” he wrapped his hand around her shoulder, guiding her in the direction of the hospital. 

…

the two arrived just outside of the wooden door. josh reached out to softly knock, soon after hearing jenna’s faint voice calling. he cracked the door open to see his best friend sitting under the blankets, knees curled up to his chest and head buried in his knees. jenna sat in the chair next to him, emotionless. and then, that's when he recognized a third figure. stormy eyes, raven hair, and a simple black dress. the girl from the service was in there.  _ why? what could she possibly have to do with tyler?  _

“is now a good time?” josh decided on those words, the tone seeming the least suspicious. 

“now is perfect,” jenna faintly smirked at the pair. 

tyler perked up from his cocoon and grinned at the sight of his best friend.

“josh!” he grinned and opened his arms as the curly haired and approached him. he wrapped his arms around him, squeezing in his shoulders toward tyler like he always did, giving people security. 

“i haven’t seen you in days, man. how are you?” tyler let go, grin still tied to his face. 

“honestly, i’m exhausted.”

clarisse cleared her throat. she bit her bottom lip in anticipation, raising her eyebrows at josh. 

he turned to her, hesitating on what to say. before he could open his mouth though, she spoke.

“hi, i’m clarisse. keons daughter.” she held out her hand letting a grin slip at the corner of her lip. she noticed josh’s face twist into one of concern, realizing how her habitual introduction slipped out.  _ why would she introduce herself to the leader of the banditos like that? maybe he could see her as an inside source? or maybe just as a future traitor? _

“josh…” he said in almost a whisper. he turned to jenna, his face still twisted. jenna took notice after some seconds and inhaled sharply, realizing the conversation taking place.”

“she’s safe josh, she’s actually a failed perimeter escape… like us.”

“oh?” he asked, the pieces not quite fitting together. 

she proceeded on with the memory of escaping to him, feeling like yesterday she was slipping her backpack on and scaling the outer wall of the grey city. she remembered seeing a bandito for the first time, a blonde girl with grass green eyes. she had been wearing a green jacket with a yellow strip of tape running from her left shoulder to right hip. around her upper arm wrapped another piece of tape with an unfamiliar symbol drawn on it. seeing the girl gave her hope to join the rebellion. she set out for days trying to seek their camp, yet never found it and it’s people. yet clarisse started to feel unsure of her decision. she was so sure of it inside of the grey walls but now her father seemed to be correct of the scary unknown. she doubted whether this free feeling was a falsehood and if she belonged in the outside world. she spent her stay in the wilderness just contemplating if she should go back to the grey city, being so scared of the unknown. it was the third day there, still struggling with the idea of this newfound freedom, when keons came for her. in true keons fashion, he wrapped his arms around her, then he put his hands under her face, looked her in the eyes and said, “clarisse, child, let’s go home.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> feel free to talk to me about the story. i wanna hear your theories, likes, dislikes, constructive criticism, etc. hmu on my instagram @theskltnfrns!!


	5. secrets

10:05 pm.

the clocks light lit up the nearly vacant room. ash sat at her desk, looking out onto the vacant street below. she thought about the day, all the things that had happened so quickly. 

10:06 pm.

she stared at the library across from her apartment. everyone was supposed to meet there next week when tyler was discharged to discuss plans of escape. she didn’t want to wait that long to get answers. 

she needed fresh air. she walked to the front door and slipped on a light sweater. she pulled her keys off the rack, slipping them into her pocket and leaving the dreary room behind. she started to recall the day once again.

clarisse’s story had been shared from a regretful face. tyler looked at her with teary eyes. josh looked at tyler with worry. he simply sighed. 

“we should meet at the library a week from today, at 10pm. i have a plan of how we may be able to escape, of course, only if you guys want.” 

everyone murmerd in agreement. clarisse shared how they could sneak in with the spare keys she had. she told them about the back way in, where she used to sneak in for late study sessions. 

and there ash was, standing in front of the library doors. she breathed, taking it all in. she had lost so much, did she even know why she was leaving? for her lover, yes, that’s what josh had said. ash could feel the frustration bubbling in the pit of her stomach. her breaths began to shorten as she tried rapidly to blink away the tears. she didn’t even know who she was anymore. it wasn’t like she was just unsure of her interests or what she wanted. it was more than that. all she knew was her name, her district, and the little info that popped in her head and was told to her. her supposed friends could be lying for all she knew. why did she trust them? yes, she remembered the people, but just their names and faces. but almost nothing about how she felt toward them, how they made her feel, how long she’s known them. 

a person moved in the corner of her eye. she turned her head to see a figure, standing in green and a color she had never seen, eyes peeking over a bandana. a backpack was lying on the ground next to her feet. she wore a grey sweater and black jeans under her green. it didn’t seem like those two colors should ever meet, it seemed so wrong. the figure had their coat half off and stood like dear in the headlights. 

“hi,” ash softly exhaled, taking a step closer. her eyes curiously met the strangers. she took them in, realizing almost instantly they were the most beautiful eyes she had ever seen. they were a grass shade of green, with golden specks making a galaxy in the iris. the gold started to concentrate around the pupils, creating a soft ring. 

“hello,” she replied, reaching to pull the bandana down from over her mouth. her eyes darted over ash, as if she was soaking in every detail she could. 

“what are you doing?” ash stepped a little closer.

“i don’t know if i can tell you.” she finally shrugged the green coat off and wrapped it in her forearms. 

“why not?”

“because they could be watching us, and i don’t want to put you in danger.”

those words sounded so familiar to ash. she recognized the words, and the voice. they were so clear yet so foggy in her mind. 

the stranger untied the bandana and stuffed it in the backpack. “i better be getting back to my apartment.”

“where do you live?”

“apartment 22, building C.” she pointed back at ash’s building.

“oh… that’s next door to me. I’ve never seen you there before.”

“that’s… strange. we must just have different schedules.” the strangers tone came off weary. ash didn’t know if she believed that. she decided the safe move would to be to just nod in agreement. 

…

clarisse’s bedroom window faced outside of the enclosed city, high enough off the ground for her to see the valleys beyond the looming wall. her room was in the east most tower of nine that stood in a three by three square at the center of the city. clarisse sat at her desk, gazing at the warm colors that decorated the hill tops beyond the grey of the city. she could see leaves dance through the air, and sometimes when she opened her window she could smell the autumn air. she couldn’t wait to be back in the wild. this time she would actually know what she was doing. she knew so much about the banditos from sneaking down to the library every night and sneaking out books from the bishops isles. the bishops isles were restricted of course, but she could easily pick the lock of the door that kept the citizens out. besides, she wasn’t even a citizen. how much trouble could she really get in for being in there? probably a lot still. 

a soft knock sounded from the door. she slid out of her chair and made her way to, enclosing the cold metal handle and twisting it. 

“father,” she remarked as a scarlet robbed man stood above her. he had a small, kind smile on his face and eyes soft as he bestowed them upon his beautiful daughter. “what are you doing up at this hour of the night?” 

“clarisse, my kind daughter. i can not sleep. i feel a heavy weight on my shoulders that nico has bestowed on me. i come to you for relief, you lift my spirits.”

“oh, thank you father. i find that pleasent.”

“so, how was your day at the hospital?”

“it was typical.” clarisse moved to sit down on her bed. 

“did you see tyler?” keons followed her and sat down next to her.

“i did. he was weak.”

“i was afraid of that. nico is pushing him so hard, its not safe,” keons looked down at his worn hands, eyes widening as if he was examining them for flaw. “clarisse, this stays between you and me. i don’t think tyler is going to be able to take over for nico. not when nico is pushing him this quickly. hes rushing his training. i think nico is scared he’ll be gone before he can complete tylers training.” 

“that’s why tyler’s shifting so fast.”

“correct, his eyes are already trying to shift to red. he shouldn’t be able to do that for another 3 months. i’m guessing it’s involuntary at this point, which would be caused by…”

“neon poisoning.” clarisse looked up at her worried father. his reputation as kind was correct. he cared so much about the citizens, he just wanted what was good for them. 

“i’m scared to tell nico what he is doing is wrong. he’s so angry, so power hungry, so concerned on leaving a legacy. im scared of what he will do to that poor boy. tyler is strong, but can he withstand nico?”

“he can’t.”

keons sighed. he stood up from the bed and made his way to the window. 

“it’s so beautiful past the walls. the colors are so vibrant and diverse. i haven’t seen those colors up close is decades. everyday i wish we could knock down the walls that loom over this city. this is not what i had planned for this city, my dear. i wish you could have seen it in it’s glory days. back when we could roam in and out. before our robes were the color of the blood that we take from the disobeying citizens. everyday i wonder… how did it come to this?”

“i wish i knew, father. one day though, we will return dema to what it once was.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is absolute shit i dont know why im still writing this


	6. reading and rescues

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a shorty but a goody

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> we finally get to meet ash's so called lover ;)

clarisse sat in the library, waiting. she listened to her fingers as the pads tapped along with the beat in her head. she hummed along to a tune that danced around her brain, something that seemed familiar yet distant. she was deep in thought, thinking about the conversation with her father the week earlier. she had seen tyler only once since they discussed the possibility of neon poisoning, but that possibility seemed to be turning into a definitely. he was still weak, and slipping in and out of sleep. he was so weak, yet today, he had been discharged back to his apartment. 

she heard the back door creak and snapped out of her thoughts. she turned her head to see josh and ash walk in, sleepy but functioning. 

“hey,” josh said as he pulled out a chair from the circle table and sat hunched over in it, elbows on the table. 

“hello there,” clarisse sat up and repositioned some of the books on the table. her eyes danced over the once entitled  _ clancy’s journal  _ and quickly hid it under the titles. she couldn’t let the others see it. 

the door opened once again, and through it walked jenna holding on to a pale tyler. his eyes were the normal brown, but under his eyes were as dark as his neck and hands were when he turned into blurryface. 

they sat down at the table, and clarisse spread some maps and books out around the table. josh noticed she slipped on into her lap though, a brown book with the title embroidered on it. he didn’t see much, but he saw the first few letters of a word, and they spelled out  _ clan.  _ the word seemed to be incomplete, he could see the n curling into another letter due to the cursive writing (or, in this case, embroidering). 

“these books are from the bishop’s private library. they consist of maps of the catacombs that lead out of the city and into trench. i think we should look through them and make a plan of escape.” clarisse moved her legs to rest on and empty chair and crossed her arms, causing her to look more menacing than usual. her hair was split into two braids. she wore a grey sweater with darker grey cargo pants, and on her feet heavy black combat boots. 

“how did you escape the last time? can’t we just go that way?” tyler asked, grabbing a red bound book entitled  _ structures and mechanics. _

“i don’t think the five of us should climb over the wall.”

“why the hell did you climb over the wall?” josh leaned forward.

“fun.” clarrise managed a sarcastic smile. she was an impulsive teenager back then, she didn’t know any other way out. besides, she knew from all the years staring out her bedroom the loose stones she could use as foot holds. 

tyler opened the book as the others discussed the wall. he thumbed through to find page 21 and opened it to see a blueprint of the heating system for the city. he doubted that would be useful. he flipped a few more pages to see a section entitled  _ construction tunnels _ . below it was a diagram of the looming city from a side view, all 9 towers labeled. below the towers though was something peculiar. the drawing showed a series of tunnels, all connecting to an important building in the city including each tower. he saw four of the tunnels extend pass the wall, out into the ground labeled  _ trench.  _ he read the word over and over again. he closed his eyes and felt something. like a stampede rushing toward him. it felt like the ocean was about to crash down. and then it did. the cold rushed through his body and memories started to come crashing back. he saw him and ash talking to a girl, a girl with brown and blue hair and eyes that were a grass shade of green, with golden specks making a galaxy in the iris. the gold started to concentrate around the pupils, creating a soft ring. next the image of josh sitting next to him flashed by. tyler couldn’t see what he himself was holding but his fingers clearly were indented and rough from using it. josh sat on a box and slammed it below him, making a noisy yet clear beat. the next memory involved jenna. he breathed heavy and his legs hurt. she looked surprised to see him. he moved closer to her, taking in her morning blue eyes. her lips were parted, perfect for his next action. he pulled her in close and kissed her. she smiled into his lips, like she was relieved to see him. she pulled away and wrapped her arms around his neck, practically strangling him. 

“tyler?” she said, in a questioning voice. her tone didn’t match her facial expression. her face was so happy, yet, the voice was concerned. he heard her call him again, yet this time her mouth didn’t move. she was frozen. once more her voice called for her. as it happened, her image started to fade. and tyler was terrified.

“jenna!” he cried as he tried to grip onto her, but his arms just passed through her and she disappeared. he blinked rapidly and found himself back in the library. he was now standing, bent over the table and his arm was outstretched, just inches from his wife’s face.

jenna stood up and made her way around the table. she moved his hand down from where he still stood and embraced him. 

“tyler, are you okay?” she whispered into his shoulder.

“i saw you, jen.”

“what?”

“i saw you. we were out there. outside the walls. and we were happy. but you faded away. you… you left.” his eyes threatened to leak out tears.

“tyler… i think it was just a memory.

a tear spilled out in sadness. all he wanted was his life back. 

the window broke from behind on of the book shelves, and everyone turned to the noise. a figure jumped through the window, landing with a big thump. the figure briskly started to walk toward the group. they stepped into the light, revealing brown hair with and unnatural blue at its ends under a hood. green and gold eyes peaked over a yellow bandana. she wore an olive green trench coat with yellow tape around the upper arms. 

“YOU!” ash exclaimed, jamming her finger into her face. “i knew you were suspicious! and here you are! breaking into the library!

“i could say the same about you.” the stranger said, cocking an eyebrow and smirking from behind the bandana. 

“no, i got let in by someone who has keys so i don’t look suspicious, you just broke a window and you’re going to get us all caught!”

“will you stop!” josh broke up the two, their sexual tension radiating through the room. “who are you?” 

“oh come on,” the stranger took down her hood and pulled off the bandana, “you don’t recognize your best friend?”

“jess!” josh exclaimed embracing the current leader of the banditos, “i missed you so much how did you get here?”

jenna had now arrived at josh’s side and wrapped the old friend in her arms.

“josh, you know her?” ash crossed her arms and popped her hip, radiating anger. 

“ash… this is jess.” 

ash was not impressed.

“she’s… your girlfriend”

“well, you failed to mention her name.” ash said, trying to hide her softening face. tears poked at the corners of her eyes. “why did you pretend not to know me when we first met.” ash gestured to jess. 

“i… i couldn’t risk it. but i’m back. and we’re gonna leave.” jess reached for ash’s hand but she retracted it. 

“don’t touch me. as far as i know we’re strangers.” 

jess looked her up and down, shocked. she didn’t think her girlfriend would be so cold to her. she was almost devestared, but she would have to focus on that later

“watchers are gonna see the window soon, we have to get out of here.”

“well great, guess that leaves this meeting pointless.” clarisse said standing up, grabbing her backpack and stuffing some books into them. 

“the tunnel door i came from is still unlocked and hopefully undiscovered to be unlocked, so let’s get going.” jess lifted the bandana back over her face and led the group out. 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ahhhhhh


End file.
